From the Silence……

Hello everyone, I am really sorry that it’s taken me a while to write. No excuses… I just haven’t found the time to write to you, so I hope you accept my apologies! 🙂 SORRY!!!! 🙂 The reason for my Blog today was just to voice an inner reflection I suppose. I guess it’s like my mind wanting to talk out loud, so I hope that it resonates with some of you. Anyone who knows me well, knows that I don’t generally “do quiet” or sit still for more then five minutes. So for those of you that don’t know me, I have to be doing something, whether it is being busy at work, dancing, playing hockey, singing even talking, I generally have to be doing something. I have a very busy mind, thinking up new ideas or things to pre-occupy my time and mind. Today I didn’t really want to do anything, I know right? I hear the gasps of shock from my friends :). I didn’t even really want to talk to anyone, how rude some people might think. Today I needed to be quiet. I have got to a certain point in my life where I am re-evaluating everything and I mean everything. Although that thinking helps to re-evaluate things in the short term, over a longer period it can become quite deafening. From being silent, I am able to process the thoughts without holding on to them, without judging them or attaching any emotions or story and it clears out a lot of unnecessary “junk”. Wanting to be quiet wasn’t a conscious choice, it just happened. I felt like I needed a really big cave somewhere just to sit and be still. Do you ever feel like that. Just want to shut out the world until you are ready to face it again? Today I got the questions from people, “you ok?” “do you want to talk about it?”, “what’s up?”, because I was quiet. Which is natural considering that I normally bounce off walls (not in a Parkour way, I’m no where near as strong as that). The only way I can describe it, is when you get incredibly bored and your mind (your ego) needs to be stimulated, so it doesn’t process what it needs to process. Or sometimes it doesn’t like being in the moment, you know the here and now and so therefore masks it as “boredom”. Instead of giving my mind (or ego) what it wanted which was to be entertained, I decided to be quiet. Some how out of all that “mind noise” it was like the next steps in my life came out of the darkness and in to the light where I could see it 🙂 it was such a revelation … my next step was NOW, that realisation that there is only NOW. You can’t change the past, you can’t worry about the future and what will be will be. There were times today that I cried and it felt good to feel whatever it was that needed to be cleared, whether it be fear, pain or whatever you want to label it so you can understand it, “it” needed to be cleared to make room for more light! I felt liberated, I felt I had the time to appreciate my life, the sunshine, the fresh spring air, the birds singing their song and the time with the family and for to enrich my life. Today I feel excited about the fact that there is a whole world out there for me to explore and I am going to explore it moment by moment! I urge you to do the same. Moment by moment! 🙂 Thank you to each and everyone of you for reading this, I hope that there was something in today’s blog that you can take away, maybe try living in the NOW! See what happens, no expectations, no judgement and you never know you might actually enjoy it. Lots of Love E x

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