I’m someone who has and no doubt will have issues with letting go of my past. Being anchored in a sea of regret will always be one of my personal challenges. I hope I can share some useful ways of giving yourself a break!
“Let’s not burden our remembrance with a heaviness that’s gone”. William Shakespeare.
I know what you’re thinking, how can someone of only 28 have any advice to give? Well maybe I don’t, but I’d like to share with you how I try to deal with my challenge of regret and in turn hope it helps at least one of you. Also on the plus side it will help me to write about it, so….. everybody wins.
Before I was old enough to understand emotional intelligence, I bounced through childhood and my teenage years with generally no care in the world. As you do. I’m sure everyone has something that they have done or said that they wish they could have done differently or turn back the clocks to not do it at all. I think maybe everyone is guilty of that. As we grow older we learn and start to understand ourselves and others. It still doesn’t mean that we have to regret what we did to understand how we could of done things differently. If we didn’t make those “mistakes” or learn those life lessons then we wouldn’t grow and be the people we are today.
I find that the negative thoughts can be a bit of a challenge. You know the ones? The Mr Could Have, Miss Should of Been, Mr What If and Mrs Might Have.Hmm… They annoy me.
So to try and help myself, I came up with 10 top tips to help my regretful mind! I hope they help you too.
1. You are Human – It’s ok to make mistakes, just try to learn from them.
2. Be Happy – Smile often, laugh lots and surround yourself with positive people
3. Communication – When feeling overwhelmed with regret or sorrow or a problem share it with someone you trust. Don’t suffer in silence. “A problem shared is a problem halved”
4. Live Your OWN Life – don’t try and live your life for others to keep them happy. It’s your life!
5. Try not to be judgemental – We are all guilty of this, could say it’s human nature. Some people may surprise you.
6. Try to forgive those who may have hurt you – try and seek forgiveness if you have hurt someone.
7. Be kind to yourself – do what it says on the tin.
8. Always keep moving forward….
A Little Voice Inside My Head Said: “Don’t Look Back, You Can Never Look Back”
9. Don’t forget to tell the people who are close to you that you love them – one day those people may not be there.
10. Be honest and grateful – be honest with yourself and others and be grateful for what you have.
You could write these down and use them as daily affirmations, to set your day off with a positive start. Put them in a place where can see them regularly.
“You are not you without your past; but right now you are perfect”
Your mind will sometimes want to wander. It will want to meet Mr Could Have, Miss Should of Been, Mr What If and Mrs Might Have. Just observe them with out judgement or attachment and walk past them as if they didn’t exist. Those thoughts don’t serve you right now. You’re perfect remember? 🙂 Thinking about your past won’t change anything right now, other than give you unwanted feelings and emotions. If it becomes too much, talk to someone or write them down for later reading.
Anyway I hope that this has helped you, it certainly has helped me talking about it, so thanks for taking the time to read. I am here if you need me. 🙂