What kind of relationship do you have?

What kind of relationship do you have with yourself? It’s a question I think some of us don’t really ask ourselves on a day-to-day, week to week basis, I know I don’t. But seriously, what kind of relationship do you have?

I mean, I know I have a loving relationship with my family, with my boyfriend as I am sure and hope most of you do. I have a good relationship with my friends but what can I say about the relationship I have with myself?

I know mine could be better! Could yours?

I really question, why is it that? Why is it I don’t have the same loving relationship that I have with my nearest and dearest? Especially when the closest person to me, is me?

I think from an outward perspective, I would point to today’s society. It doesn’t help us to achieve a natural, healthy relationship about who we are and how much we really know and how comfortable we are with ourselves. I don’t suppose this has changed much over time. Each decade in society has had its own challenges and no doubt relative to the times, but I still think ours, today, is by far the hardest.

I’m not talking about people’s living standards, trust me I have heard many stories of societies hardship during world war one and two, not to mention the worlds hardships as they are today, I fully respect and I am aware that it was or is hard. What I’m talking about is the added pressure, men and women feel in today’s world to fit in, to be accepted, to not be label, to be someone who they are not! This is why I think I struggle sometimes maintaining that healthy loving relationship with myself.

There is so much of “you should do this, you should do that, you need to look like this, you need to look like that” around us, one can’t really ignore it. What happened to the questions you should be asking yourself, like, “What would I like to do? What do I want in my life? What things are important to ME?”

Social media is constantly around us and any answer in the world can be accessed at a click of a button, are we being fair to ourselves? Are we being selfish enough? Do we think of ourselves more than others? The honest answer, is NO!

I sometimes scroll through my Instagram, because I follow some very artistic photographers (such as Nat Geo) and love their work. However, if I go searching for new talent or other inspirational topics, my feed is filled with nothing but pictures of women in bikinis or next to nothing on, flaunting their abs or bottoms with over 2000 likes or followers. WHY? Why do women find it necessary to show every Tom Dick and Harry what they look like with hardly any clothes on? What do they have to gain? What happened to modesty? Leaving more to the imagination? What happened to self-respect?

Some people will say “it’s their body they can do what they want’’, “it’s their life, who are you judge?” I’m not judging, naturally, people can do what they want to do I just want to know WHY? I want to understand WHY? I want to understand so that I don’t judge, because I understand.

I find it hard because, I then sit there and think, “maybe I should look like that”, “would society accept me more if I looked like that, wore those clothes or had those abs?” I then normally have no motivation, because I’ve sat there and compared myself to these women and end up berating myself because I don’t look like that or I don’t have lot of money to wear super expensive clothes or bags or go to luxurious places.

How bad is that? I’m angry with myself because I don’t have tanned skin, with abs of steel and long flowing, curly, glossy hair, in a Dolce and Cabana swimsuit with Louis Vuitton’s on.

If I’m doing that, then how many other women in the world are experiencing the same thing? Are you? What do you feel like when you see these images? How do you react?

How on earth can we ever have the right type of relationship with ourselves, if we are constantly reminded by images like this on social media, in the general media, newspapers, and magazines that we should look a certain way just for society to accept us? Are we a shallow society? Is beauty just skin deep?

Mahatma Ghandi once said…

“You must be the change you wish to see in the world”.

There is no need to berate yourself if you’ve failed an exam. There is no need to be angry with yourself if you only ran 3k instead of 5k. There is no need for you to look in the mirror and hate the way you look.

You have every right to proud of being able to sit the exam and get there in the first place. You should be proud that you managed to run 3k. You should be proud that inside your body is a person that if it wasn’t you, you would knowingly love if it was a family member, partner or friend.

I think if we take more time, loving ourselves by not being too hard on ourselves and being proud of the things we have achieved then I think that is one small step in the right direction. We can then help others with their journey, knowing that our roots are grounded, that we know who we are and our impact that we have on others and the world around us.

Thanks for taking the time to read, would love to hear your feedback.


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